An Open Letter To Michael Vick

Dear Dummy,

You IDIOT! What the hell is your fuckin problem man? I mean...shit! People are sick of defending you man. You know you done fucked up right? I mean, you REALLY have fucked up this time. Screwed the pooch good.

So this is the best you can do huh? A goddamn water bottle that can hide your weed?

What are you, 17 yrs old? Your're a goddamn millionaire man! Are you serious about this shit? If I was wearing some sort of hat, and you were standing here, I would take it off and fucking beat you with it repeatedly. But you know what? This is good. This is really good see, because it reinforces everything I have always known about weed. See, I have never touched the shit, and don't plan to, but I have been around people who have. The one thing that always amazes me about them is that they hold to the claim that "weed don't affect you." Well, clearly it does. It makes you do STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS.

I'm fuckin done wit you man. I'm fuckin done.

Me