Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Hot Dogs

So T-Dot had a hot dog story, and strangely enough, I have one too. So, my wife loves burgers, and I promised her that when I got home from work last night I would make some burgers on the grill. I could go on and on about barbecuing but I have to be somewhere in 20 minutes so I won't. Anyway, the burgers went over ok, but when I got done with them I realized that the grill was still a lil hot, so I put 3 hot dogs out there. JUUUUUUST for shits and giggles. I let them cook, nice and slow you know? I put them on about 6:30, ate dinner, checked email, called a friend, watered the lawn, and sat down to watch American Idol when I realized...shit, I still got hot dogs on the grill! When I went outside to get them, what I found was a beautiful sight. Cooking low and slow, with just the right grill marks on them were the three most gorgeous Ball Park franks that I have ever seen.
BUT, and T-Dot will appreciate this, NO BUNS! No bread either. Guess what I did have??? Hoagie Rolls. Whole wheat Hoagie Rolls. I split one of them shits open, but two hot dogs in it, laced a lil mustard and ketchup on the damn thing and listened to Melina Dolittle sang her ass off. It was a beautiful thing.

Damn I love hot dogs...

Monday, April 23, 2007

Sorry your kid is dumb

SO...I think Will Ferrell is hilarious. Last week, a video surfaced on the internet of a skit featuring him and somebody's kid. The kid is playing his Landlord, and cusses him the fuck out for not having his rent. Funny shit, really. Check it out.

So the sad thing is, people are raising a stink about it. Talking about, teaching a kid to say those words is 'abusive' to the kid. I COULDN'T cuss as a kid. Maybe that was abusive, I dunno...
All I know is, that somebody needs to get a life. They said the same shit about 12 yr old Dakota Fanning doing a rape scene in her new movie Houndog.
They said she was being abused. Right. Dakota Fanning...abused. You want to see abused? Rent Man on Fire, War of the Worlds, Hide n Seek, I Am Sam, Dreamer, Nine Lives, Cat In The Hat. Dakota Fanning abused the following so-called pro actors by out-acting them in those movies: Denzel Washington, Robert DeNiro, Tom Cruise, Glenn Close, Mike Myers, Sean Penn, and Kurt Russell. Rent some of those movies, if you want to see some abusive shit. You know who else got abused? ME! By having to sit through some of that mess that Dakota Fanning saved just by being on the damn screen.

Anyway, I digress. Come back if I lost you there. The point is, don't get mad because your dumb ass kid can't read and write well. Any kid that can retain all of that dialogue when she can barely speak, is on to bigger and better things. You go back to playing See 'n Say with your 12 yr old. We got this.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Have I Neglected My Blog?

I see that post a lot...people say, "I have neglected my blog." They apologize and then commence to blogging their asses off. Well, I'm not sure that's the case here. See, the thing is, being that I'm kind of a private dude, I rarely blog about my personal life. It's not often that I discuss my wife or my family, my job, my friends...etc. I blog about society and the shit that I see, and well...society has been a bit overwhelming lately a little too tough to chew. I think I can handle it now though so...hold on. This could get a lil bumpy.

Last week was the week of Don Imus. In short, he referred to the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team as "Nappy Headed Hos" on his radio show. OK so that rattled the cages of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson who went on a relentless campaign to have Don Imus fired, and he was. Very quickly, here is my opinion: back in school I had this friend who met a girl who was a lil slow, or chall I say developmentally challenged. She was functional, and at first glance you wouldn't know she was slow, but after talking to it, it became clear. Well, he decided he wanted to have sex with her, which didn't really seem to be much of a challenge. After about a day or so of making advances, he had sex with her, whichhe later admitted was the most pointless endeavor of his life. That's what getting Don Imus fired feels like, a cheap fuck. Going after a girl that you know is an easy lay, for no reason at all. Or maybe because you think it will make you feel better in some way, and it turns out not to. It was pointless and silly.

In walks C. Vivian Stringer and the Rutgers Women Basketball Team, with the perfect opportunity to play the victim. And that they did. They act as if they won! I have never seen losers get so much attention, and it's not becaue of Don Imus, it's because they demanded it. They keep saying some bullshit about "making history." I really don't see how a team losing the NCAA Championships is history. Now, I don't do links cause I don't have time, but go back to my earlier posts and you will see that I have commented before about how our standards for what is History have lowered. Message to the Rutgers women, YOU DIDN'T MAKE HISTORY. Now your coach gave a speech after your meeting with Don Imus that lasted longer than the I Have A Dream Speech. THAT, was historic...losers.

OK so then the Duke 3 were pronounced Not Guilty and all charges were dropped. AL Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were too busy sinking their teeth into Don Imus to apologize like men. I'm done with those two.

We also got to know the nappy headed ho that accused them of raping her. And before you get all in a tither, I can call her nappy headed because I saw her. Her hair was nappy...and I can call her a ho because her rape kit and DNA tests showed that she had the DNA of several men IN HER RECTUM. Let me be perfectly clear about something: No woman, I don't care who you are, should have DNA from more than one man in her rectum. OK, maybe 2 guys. No more than 2 though. Not several.

Crazy week huh? Not over yet!

So on Monday, Oprah steps in to save the day. She has on her show, people who love hip-hop and people who hate hip-hop. The reason being, that many people are saying that the reason that Don Imus felt so comfortable saying HO is because punk ass rappers say it all the time. You think???? Of course that's why people are desensitized to the word. So, dudes I love like Stanley Crouch and Jason Whitlock came in with all guns blazing and exposed punks like Russell Simmons and Kevin Lyles for the gutless cowards that they really are.
You have to watch it to understand what I'm talking about, but the shit was gorgeous. But while Oprah was saving the world, some shit went down that she couldn't save anybody from. This Korean kid went crazy at Virginia Tech and killed 32 people; at one time. It was crazy...I have never seen anything like it. The eery part is, that the technology age put us closer to it than we ever could have been . Blogging, the internet, text messages, cell phone cameras, and overnight mail have sensationalized this incident in a way that I never thought was possible.

On a different note, I downloaded my 500th song on itunes. A pretty sick milestone. That means that since the fall I have spent close to 500 bucks on music. What was the 500th song? Mandy, by Barry Manilow. My wife knows why. But it's a jammin song. I also downloaded Billy Joel, 12 Gardens Live, which is among the best Live Recordings I have ever heard. Anytime your shit is so legendary that the audience sings every word and you don't have to do a damn thing, it's a beautiful thing.

Anyway, that's it...what a week.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Sanjaya sings tonight, and it will make everything better. Tonight, Sanjay will display his ability to heal all wounds. from the Va. tech shooting, to the Don Imus situation, to the 3 Duke Boys, when Sanjaya is done singing, we will all feel better. I can't fuckin wait.


Nope, I haven't blogged in a while. Why? Too much dumb shit going on. Just too much. It's been a rough week in thsi country, this world. We need one big Band-Aid. Film at 11.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


I voted for Sanjaya last night...

And after I did it, I did it again, and again, and again, and again...I couldn't stop!
I feel so dirty.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Hypocrisy, HO!

Let's be clear can't be mad about this:

When you don't get mad about this:

or this:

Are we clear on that???