Friday, May 4, 2007

Shit I Believe - inspired by T-Dot

-I believe that when you talk on your cell phone in public, that you are actually insecure, and are either faking it or actually having conversation with somebody to avoid interacting with people.

-I believe that morning radio shows have one purpose. To entertain me while I drive to work so I don't realize I'm actually driving to work. Not to tell me who to vote for or bring awareness to social and political issues. Just get me to work. That's why I love The Bert Show on Q100.

-I believe that birth control pills are 100% effective. And that the only reason they get that 100% rating is because some girl lied and said she took them when she really didn't.

-I've never seen a pink grape, so I believe that any wine that is pink is bullshit.

-I believe that any man that doesn't drink hard liquor or beer is gay.

-I believe that a man who barbecues on a gas grill should never be allowed to watch football again.

-I believe that fraternities and sororities are COLLEGE ORGANIZATIONS and that anybody who joins one after they have left college needs to find something else to do.

-I believe that any church pastor that doesn't have a full time 9-5 job is probably shady in some way

-I believe that when you go to a club, that the same people standing in line outside, are the same people that will be inside. So if you aren't having fun in the line, you should probably just bounce.

-I believe that a haircut should cost $20. No more, no less. That goes for everybody.

-I believe that there is always some truth to a rumor.


Anonymous said...

I believe that like airline seats, there should be first-class driver's licenses so that people who can navigate the foolishness that routinely appears on city streets, can have license to speed through, around and beyond the mess…AND there should be frequent-driver and BS avoider miles so I can upgrade my Corolla to a Porsche.

On a more personal note, I believe I should be able to have an X-ray beam that I can point at idiot-drivers. It would evaporate their car and place the driver and all passengers safely on the sidewalk--or at a bus stop, where they should be…

Jameil said...

actually having conversation with somebody to avoid interacting with people. that's me. please don't talk to, look at, or otherwise attempt to engage me. thanks.

i don't mind a pastor not having a regular 9-5, but THEN i believe he needs to have 9-5 office hours and visit the sick and shut in on a regular basis. otherwise, YOU ARE A CROOK!!!!

nikki said...

that one about the line outside of the club is very astute. i never even thought about that, but it's true.

meanwhile, i tend to stay away from lines. if there's one outside of a club, i'm pretty sure i'm gonna just bounce to the next spot.

T Dot said...

Very good! Glad I could inspire you. Thoughts:

Like J, I too talk on my phone when I'm uncomfortable or don't want to be bothered. Thanks for pulling back the curtain to my insecurities, Mr.

On the pastor thing - I used to think that, before I got involved in my church and got close with my pastor (he's my best friend's father). I see how hard he works and the members that he has to deal with who only take take take. They'll call at any time of night and run him ragged. THEN, he has to get up, drive and hour to Boston and work all day as a court officer (he's nice though). I know his hope is to one day do pastoring full-time and I can see how that would help him and the church. He wouldn't be tired and he could do a lot of things that he now has to delegate because he doesn't get back to late.

$20 for a haircut? Pssh. I want $15, with $5 tip. That's why I love my barber. When I had a perm, a cut would easily run me like $40, then with a style, I'm up to about $70. Highway robbery, I tell you.