Dear Owners Of Hybrids and Other Fuel-Efficient But Slow Cars,
How are you? I hope you are enjoying the iphone that you stood in line overnight to get and I can't wait for you tell me all about The Transformers Movie, but I wanted to talk to you about how we interact on the roads and highways. I drive a truck. A pickup truck. It doesn't get great gas mileage but it's not so bad either. It's a gas guzzler compared to your Hot Wheels car, but one thing it can do that yours can't is go very fast. It can go like...60 miles per hour, and faster! See, I say all of this because I noticed today that you took your little piece of shit car and got in the far left lane, the passing lane. Only thing is, you weren't passing anybody. I know it's hard to pass people when your car runs on nuts and berries, but then...I really don't get why you were over there in the first place. Did Al Gore tell you that if you bought a Prius you could ride in the left lane? Cause if he did, he lied. Whoever told you that, if I ever catch you over in that sombitch again there will be hell to pay. Stay the fuck out of the passing lane and keep that thing to surface streets and driveways where it belongs.